I know this email probably won’t reach you. Me, Dex, Emily, Jimmy – we’ve all tried to get in touch with you the last few weeks but to no avail. I figured you’ve blocked us as spam or perhaps closed your email account all together, but I wanted to try, one last time.
I’m not writing this on behalf of anybody. No one knows I’m doing this or saying this to you. Everyone has just sort of given up and moved on (well, not everyone). But I just had to write you and tell you a few things. These might hurt to read, if you ever do read them, but it’s just the truth.
I really like you, Perry. A lot. Dex has told me that you don’t have too many female friends, that you’re always worried about being rejected or let go, like people don’t have your back. I was like that once too, so I understand. In fact, before I met Emily, I was a little too aloof. This English charm of mine? I certainly used it to my advantage on more than one occasion. To be alone was to be safe. To not let anyone into my heart was to be smart. I was cool as Pimms cup cucumber.
Then I met Emily and it all went out the window. Never mind the fact that she would eventually become my lover, then my girlfriend. At first she was a friend and that was the first step. Even letting her in on that level was scary, but I’m oh so glad I did because the risk was worth it.
I think I could use a friend like you Perry and you could use a friend like me. I could be that friend to you. Of course we won’t transition into lovers (I like blondes, and, you’re not a lesbian), but I think we could learn to trust each other and have some fun.
My first course of duty as your friend would be to write you as I am writing you now. And tell you about what you left behind.
I know you’re hurt by what Dex did. I would be devastated. But I know how you feel, Perry. I know how you feel about him. I know you love him. But he doesn’t. He’s just a man who got in way too deep and scared himself half to death. He hurt you badly and he hurt himself too. In all the years I’ve known Dex, he’s never been as happy as he is with you. That’s all I saw during that week you were in Seattle. I know you were too paranoid about Jenn, but I saw it. His eyes light up when he’s with you, when he talks about you. I could go on, but what’s the point. I don’t think any of this would make you feel any less hurt or humiliated. People make mistakes. I’m sure you’ve made a few. I know I have. And Dex, all he seems to do is make mistakes. Sometimes by accident and most of the time on purpose. Most of the time to punish himself, because of the demons in his past. He never meant to hurt you – and I think he thought he couldn’t hurt you. You seemed too eager to keep your emotions at bay and he in turn did the same.
You’re both just supremely fucked up. Sorry! But again, it’s the truth and that’s what friends tell each other. The two of you together have so much potential – for greatness and for disaster. But it’s up to you, together, to decide what that’s going to be. You can trust someone first and then let them in. Or you can let them in and trust them later. But you’ll never be honest until you can do both of those things. And I really, truly hope you can. Because you both deserve to be happy, and, ideally, with each other.
Your friend Rebecca Sims
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About On Demon Wings....
Expected publication date: May 13th, 2012
When the life you wanted has crumbled beneath your fingers, there’s nothing left to do but pick up the pieces and soldier on. You’ve done this before.
But what happens when you no longer feel like yourself anymore? When fires spontaneously start-up around you, when you hear growling coming from underneath your bed, and you no longer recognize your face in the mirror. What happens then?
Ghost-hunter Perry Palomino doesn’t have much time to find out. Now, the evil she used to hunt is a lot closer to home. It’s inside of her, taking over her life bit-by-terrifying bit, and there’s only one person who can help her.
If part of her doesn’t kill him first.